TesseracT - Altered State review

Year : 2013
Genre : Teenager Folk Djent Pop
Label : Century Media
Origin : United Kingdom
Rating : 5.0 / 10

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The new TesseracT LP spells out the submissively stale stagnation of teenager folk pop djent, all written with pink and magenta on the withered/saggy tits of pseudo-intellectual folk allures and hyper-emotional shoegaze nonsense.

Picture the image of music put forward by Periphery, strip it off of the exceptionally strong melodies and substitute those with polite folk ravings, deprive it from most of its intent to experiment, and deny its manic intricacy - premiere traits not even a latex troll can take away from Periphery's credit in the context of their latest outing to date - and you find yourself in the painfully predictable company of this particular TesseracT record, delivered in the form of play-it-safe-product-art by the eminent UK based teen folk pop djent practitioners. Read on to know more about the disc.

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Jeff Loomis - Plains of Oblivion review

Year : 2012
Genre : Massively Instrumental Progressive Metal with Djent tints
Label : Century Media
Origin : United States
Rating : 9.2 / 10

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Unless you are one of the gentlemen listed in the poll at the right sidebar of this site, or, if you are armed with a delusion of guitar-grandeur - oh, which guitarist isn't? - then know that Jeff Loomis plays a meeeean-mean guitar a supreme prickord can't dismiss and keep a reputation. I confess I totally and completely am unfamiliar with the catalog of Mr. Loomis' premiere ex-squad Nevermoore, but I always am open to hear the results whenever a renowned guitarist emerges to declare a solo contribution that promises high definition melodic shreddage. The more your guitar sounds like an 8-bit Nintendo synth, the better you are, and this is not a joke, nor an exceptionally bad one at that. Read on to find out more about this eloquent blend of massively instrumental and granulatedly vocal delivery.

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Paradise Lost - Tragic Idol review

Year : 2012
Genre : Doom Metal
Label : Century Media
Origin : United Kingdom
Rating : 9.2 / 10

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The new Paradise Lost LP brings ten sonic declarations of doom, orchestrated to morose guitars of gargantuan perspectives. The uttermost urge the disc is fueled by is its ever-present endeavor to coat you into lush wall of sound structures that seek both to entertain and to tamely interrogate the soul, primarily by top of the heat-, playful down tuned power chord melodic warfare. The album sounds particularly good and well defined, with multiple-, layered variants of the elements stored in each autonomous song-fabrics. Yet, the main factorial that casts an eminent light on this eloquent representative of the doom-flock, is the "mere" songcraft : simply put, the songs are pretty much flawless on this one, and provide the listener with an on-spot-I-get-it experience without making tasteless accessibility-compromises. The audio data on Tragic Idol is uncompromisingly doom, uncompromisingly exigent, and,  maybe you just guessed it : it uncompromisingly emerges to kick your ass to hell and back. Guys, let's talk about the music.

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Asphyx - Deathhamer review

Year : 2012
Genre : Thrash Death Hybrid with a Funeral Doom fascination
Label : Century Media
Origin : The Netherlands
Rating : 9.6 / 10

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Asphyx's Deathhamer defines and unleashes straightforward, unalloyed thrash-death hybrid charisma power as an 55 minutes full length is getting fed into your awareness with a quite literally constant parade of picture perfect musical hooks. Hook on the trail of the previous hook, without end, with extremely tasteful propensity exhibited regarding variation in temper and tempo. This LP is very homogeneous in its premiere structure of submitting to the will of gargantuan, sharply defined drum work, revealing this very act by an elegantly drawn "sonic foam" of the massive rhythm guitar work. Rhythm guitar work that packs all the fine melody this particular direction sounds and seems to feel itself the best with. Indeed, the album has the shocking-, yet cunning impertinence to disregard the epitome of the solo guitar altogether, concentrating instead on bringing you compliments for the instinctive images you secretly have in your soul regarding heavy music. This fine disc, as hinted, has a virtually endless foam of those while it defines itself, throwing quality riff-, and hookcraft towards your direction with rampant efficiency. Read on to find out more about the respective characteristics of these highly beneficial tendencies.


There is a certain "direction" in superficial general consensus that tends to label this veteran band as a death metal formation, which could not be farer from the truth, in my opinion. With Deathhammer, it seems to be very clear to me that the ensemble bows to no urge and drive less than to channel from the very soul-, from the very meaning of the heat, as the compositions on this disc emerge as autonomous entities of sonic entertainment by drawing different patterns of brute elegance with the most straightforward tools heavy music has at its disposal. As stated previously, it is all about the rampant riffcraft, that which simply has no place to fail on as it can't help but define hooks on spot, that come into existence quite naturally and logically, as different sonic domains and tempers - varied pitch, varied tempo - are explored. Notice the little-, but very relevant intricacies the band compliments the respective anatomies of the riffs with, like changing the orders of the notes in the climax of a pattern, for example. A record can be 44 minutes and put you into a biter sleep with a constant tempo of fury and ferocity, - like this satanic disco metal LP - or, it can entertain you properly, as THIS baby does, "simply by" honestly seeking to satisfy that criteria. This album takes you serious. The things this LP does, exactly are the things I personally expect to be subjected to via a serious and rewarding listening experience, one that spares the sentimental bullshit and serves the fucking goodies.

The subgenres the record strolls along, are numerous : the primordial form is a hybrid of thrash and death, and the short, but super-nifty track number 9 called "Vespa Cabro" gives you more entertainment via superb and sober variation in a time interval of 2:50 than the other record I just linked ever had access to. What about the eerie sound in this track, coming in from 1:49 to haunt your receptors for five seconds? Pretty fucking emotionally disturbing! And, as such, approved, of course. The release has a surprising awareness of its own capacities, as it simply does not relent throwing stuff at you, melodic thrash death hybrid kitchen sink included in the first attack wave. As result of this drive, the album arrives to points on which it ritually and hilariously commits creative suicides on, submitting to extremities of metal reigning on the different pole than thrash and death are favorite invitees of.

Funeral doom and sludge that makes Cthulhu a happy boy are revealed on this release to spice up the delivery even more. Had the release lack these attributes, I'd still rate it well above 9 points, but, with such an unprecedentedly well varied and full musculature sonic meat structure to it, I hereby declare this release to be amidst the most powerful ones the year 2012 has graced upon us. I greatly liked a previous sentence I wrote about this delivery earlier, and will repeat it to wrap this review up. Here it is. (This wasn't it, now it comes.) The things this LP does, exactly are the things I personally expect to be subjected to via a serious and rewarding listening experience, one that spares the sentimental bullshit and serves the fucking goodies. Highly recommended.

Rating : 9.6 / 10

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Napalm Death - Utilitarian review

Year : 2012
Genre : Grindcore
Label : Century Media
Origin : United Kingdom
Rating : 9.0 / 10

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I'm not going to lie to you (all that much) and so must admit that up to this point I never was the premiere grindcore guy, as this style seems to revolve around the desire to summon raw, rampant sonic aggression, showing strictly limited interest in the continuous chase of the patterns that deliberately-, even shamelessly seek to appeal musically in some way or another. (Melody, rhythm, God forbid a combo of those.) You already suspect that I am a snob and you surely are right, which does not prevent one from noticing on spot that this ancient grindcore band Napalm Death - the band formed in 1981 as far as I know - needs no extra help to bring down the building around you that you've started listening their latest full length contribution in. This release, simply put, is a cold blooded sonic murder-, even MURRRRRRRDAA! committed with a sledgehammer against the silly little thing called silence, and I have the related hunch that this exactly the central idea of the record is. Read on to find out more about this ruthless silence massacre that is out to end you (too) as soon and thoroughly as possible.


Napalm Death's Utilitarian LP sometimes reminds me of Deceased's All-Eradicator Surreal Overdose record, of which I was and still am blown away. Napalm Death, to silhouette out a difference that seems pretty easy to pick up on though, is hardly if ever occupied with all that much riff definition, as the "mere energy" of the band brings with itself such vile intentions that the musical instruments can't help but produce convincing results in the hands of the members. There is no other choice, if and when being tormented by these vile intents. You don't necessarily need to be able to make out the precise patterns/notes the guitar is riffing along, because it is clear that the sonic axe is possessed by a malicious energy channeled by the band member via unbound nervous system power. If music can reveal and bring you this, than that music is for real, regardless of genre and - for the most part - production values.

What I'm trying to get at, is to point out the visceral quality of this delivery, which pretty much is the only one of it, too. This is NOT a derogatory notion at all, since establishing these attributes of raw sonic intensity/intimacy are evident central desires of the LP, and Napalm Death claims the satisfaction of this complex, steep desire with a stance and artistic efficiency that does not tolerate- does not even KNOW the concept of failure. They are simply too fucking possessed to fail with their music. This is such an authentic form of raw-intensity sonic entertainment as you have ever heard so far. There are no production wizardries on display herein at all. Everything is plugged in, everything is turned all the way to the right, and all nervous systems involved in this formation are fueled by a constant high octane mania to waste all on sight. Super-visceral, hateful rabidity for the listening pleasure of your exquisite soul content and related awareness. Napalm Death still has it, as experience and time both seem to be on the band's side. Something funny I've noticed : track 11, called Blank Look About Face. Pay attention to the rhythmic structure of the base and the vocals from 0:31. Totally Faith No More's Shit. Lives. Foreva., no?

Rating : 9.0 / 10

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Aborted - Global Flatline review

Year : 2012
Genre : Death Metal
Label : Century Media
Origin : Belgium
Rating : 7.0 / 10

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The fresh Aborted LP is as straightforward as its cover art in its hastiness to serve out your rudimentary death metal anticipations, and it shows no eminent desire nor ambition to deviate boldly from the superorthodox death metal formula of blast beating the shit out of silence the old fashioned way, supported by riffcraft that has a more pronounced urge to lock in a certain frequency domain than to administer riffcraft along that silly little thing called melody. Exceptions are present, but few and far between. Whenever the album deviates from the brutal side of things for a moment, the content emerges quite significant and musically more colorful than it weighs in with via its over the top comic book intensity it favors 90% of the program time. The traditional-, decently realized pig squeal vocals are oftentimes supported by metalcore screaming administered in a much more tolerable mid-tone register than the faked-ass fry screaming you hear from metalcore teenagers looking like separated sperm cells on the cover of your favorite music magazine. Talking about music, the actual audio data on this spin, as is somewhat common to the sonically brutal side of death - !!ROARR!! - metal, is not always easy to realistically relate to, because the drums often are so prominent in the mix that they show a relentless urge to command ALL under them with a row of pummeling iron fists. As result of this, the character of the sonic content with any pitch value to it, pretty much lies beneath the monumental percussion work. According to my percepts, this tendency is more prominent in the firs half of the release. Read on to find out more about this anti-neighborhood device.


What I personally think the record looks best with, are its intense drum fills and the capricious rhythmic patterns in its climax, let alone how one of the songs features a line from Hellraiser II if I'm not mistaken, about suffering and hell. An ubiquitous urge to offer variation IS present on this spin, but, as I just mentioned, the riffcraft shows mixed desire and capacity to address its ultimate meaning via its given potential. Sometimes, when the audio fabric is not trodden over by vocals and the wartank drums, it becomes - uhm - audibly visible. Aua, I just lost a level. Yet, for a good amount of this spin, the name of the game will be uncompromising blast beat galore with no love in it at all, and this rhetorics gives you the kind of extreme music which intentionally flatters the epitome of good old fashioned noise warfare. Sir, Yes, Sir, it is great fun, but also a kind of fun I think the album tends to violate by relying on it way too fucking much. But this is a subjective matter, and these segments might weight in as the favorite segments under your roof.

It is very hard to miss the similarities between this baby and that of an output of akin character from Italy, and I would not even go as far as to deem the peak moments of this album less efficient than that disc, courtesy of the last THIRD of this album. My current opinion is that this release gets better and better as it progresses, reaching the peaking I personally noticed via its last three tracks. The music on these regions are especially well varied, and its complexity borders on technical death metal in its rhythmic and sonic complexity. The release is a safe choice if you want to bang your head against a wall until one of these elements gives in, and, with its limited share of intricate musical stimuli, it weighs in as a ride even the snob finds attractions on that are worth revisiting.

Rating : 7.0 / 10

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Lacuna Coil - Dark Adrenaline review

Year : 2011
Genre : Alternative Metal Gothic
Label : Century Media
Origin : Italy
Rating : 8.0 / 10

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Lacuna Coil attempts to bring the energy of Rammstein to channel the music of Kidney Thieves, and, as soon as someone attempts to do so, it deserves immediate attention. The key-, minor deficits of the current formation are quick to reveal themselves, as are the beneficiary soul contents and other goodies the squad is able to deliver. The best potentiality of the record lies in its honest-, nevertheless elegant bubblegum character : the structures hardly-, if ever deviate from the standard compositional technique of verse-chorus, verse, breakdown, biiiigbig chorus, yet, as long as the served elements are able to please your receivers, this template is still quite efficient. The album's most favored song length of 3 minutes - only two of 12 pieces topple this length - seems to solidify the impression that the prime agenda herein is to deliver a hefty, easily accessible Goth soulride for the whole family, your secret latex gimp in the closet, - HA! - included. Read on to find out more about this slick release.


Dark Adrenaline shows capacity to exhibit a diverse set of moods, fortunately. Opening track "Trip the Darkness" has a pronounced leaning towards a dangerous, sanely limited fairy tale register, while "Fire" - much later - is a cybernetic soulhack inviting you to rebel without a pause. The hooks are coming your way in the forms of the choruses, primarily, and they bow to no boundaries regarding the tools and sets of moods they seek to utilize to administer steady entertainment. As for the moods, a good portion of this release sounds as traditional alternative - oops! - metal to me, and, to be honest, it is great to hear an LP that does not take its Gothic sentiments to the perplexedly extremely serious. The content herein has dignity, and a good amount of hooks.

Now for the good old fashioned beating. The absence of a Free Dominguez and an Animal like Corey Taylor is regretful, as the fronters herein - one female, one man - are giving acceptable and mediocre vocal performances, respectively. Their accent is tolerable, even cute at times, yet I not always am content with the "emotional" renditions they are portraying. The male fronter has only one favorite style of singing, and that is the bluesy rasp you already had the chance to bore yourself to hell and back with, while the female singer has a more diverse set of singing rhetorics. At track 11, "Fire", the chick fronter starts out the fray in comic book Free Dominguez fashion, and must say, she does quite a decent job at that. Yet, this rabid kind of borderline intensity is a rare invitee of the release, as Dark Adrenaline has a more tame character as its prime attribute, instead of angst. This, of course, is not a blemish, rather a probable heartfelt decision of the band, and, as such, this factor should not be subjected to criticism. On occasion, Lacuna Coil is able to reveal superb mid-tempo harmonic environments, like the chorus of track 7 "I don't believe in tomorrow" : this hook reeks Slipknot's "Sulfur" without ripping it off, so : Kudos!

Lacuna Coil's Dark Adrenaline is a solid offering all in the spirit of Italian gothcybermetal, yet, with a more pronounced spiritual leaning towards the peaceful than this particular Italian beauty. Lacuna Coil's latest weighs in as a serious addition to the first month of this particular year, and, the fact that it is largely free of gloom, appeals to me greatly. A safe, immediate recommendation and I like it.

Rating : 8.0 / 10

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Vildhjarta - Masstaden review

Year : 2011
Genre : Djent with ambient elements
Label : Century Media
Origin : Sweden
Rating : 6.5 / 10

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Sweden Vildhjarta - geSUNtheit, Mein Herr - invades your receptors with a concept album that embraces its narrative influences from the Jungle Book and the video role playing game Final Fantasy VII. On paper, this band plays djent, in reality, a good amount of this sounds like pretty disturbed metalcore warfare to me, and here is why : that massive chunk of this baby is gravitating around the continuous act of scattering/littering artificially "portioned" djent patterns around on top of mid-tempo metalcore rhythms, but all the good will in the whole wide world would be less than enough to keep your poker face intact while attempting to regard ALL the content herein as really-really intricately rhythmized.

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnope.

A healthy amount of this release sounds like heavily syncopated metalcore, - without the corporal punishment choruses, luckily - and the things it looks way better than just that with, are not ever-present on it, unfortufuckingnately.

This almost exclusively is a mid-tempo release, and it is hard to get rid of the feeling that the record shows everything it has the capacity to show right in the first 5 minutes of it. And you are wrong about it, too, because Masstaden has its 10 minutes of strongest offerings at its climax, and these deliveries are more flamboyant builds than you could realistically hope for by witnessing the massively metalcorish start and the middle region of this relatively lopsided declaration.

Combine the - usually - not too risky, nor too inventive schizo rhythm patterns with your everyday average metalcore bonobo screaming, - sometimes complimented by a more death metalish growl, so what. - add half a minute of smoke on the water ambient interlude every 5 minutes, and you have a precise impression of this contribution, which would pack much more entertainment value and relevance if to bring more of what it looks best with. Read on to find out more about this release.


Vildhjarta starts out efficiently enough, but, as hinted, it has a limited initital supply to offer true relevance beyond syncopated rhythmic attractions, and probably this is the reason that the best parts of the spin will start to engage your receptors well beyond the midsection. This LP also contains ambient interludes, but they rarely serve other purpose than to sedate the miserable with alibi-glitter when the monster in the djent would be a risk to awake. Actual musical development and relevant variation is not ever-evident on this spin, which makes me an unhappy boy.

The starting portion of Vildhjarta's Massteden is one, single, psychotic song composed of muted/released shrapnels of deep chugs, but no, they do NOT reveal all too complex or exciting rhythms as they want you to recognize them as. Fear not, Sunshine! After the track 8th mark - oorgle! - things turn to the better, because there is only 1 dosage of bonobo screaming you need to endure before the LP finally starts to negotiate its Cream De La Cream, pha.

Track number 10, called "All These Feelings" finally starts out with an inventively rhythmized riff, in fact, so inventively rhythmized, that the band instead drops it after a minute, and escapes to ambient arpeggio. Auuuua. The release has a stronger period nevertheless in the ending portion, track number 12 "Deceit" once again features delicious, odd rhytmization you can finally take serious because it gives you the same courtesy, but, to be honest, the bonobo screaming that joins in, ruins the experience for me. "Emencely".

Though Vildhjarta's Masstaden could very easily be decipherable as a record that repeats itself over and over and over and over in the same sonic frequency, - probable courtesy of the lowest possible note being banged mercilessly on an 8 stringed guitar - there are elements on it that are better than they sound first. Yet, as a full spin, above average at BEST.

Rating : 6.5 / 10

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Insomnium - One for Sorrow review

Year : 2011
Genre : Melodic Death Metal
Label : Century Media
Origin : Finland
Rating : 8.8 / 10

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With its freshest full length to date, Finland's Insomnium rains down not hellfire but a squad of Nordic avalanches on you, doing it with tremendous charm and ruthless efficiency. This record has an icy, positive, dignified "storyteller" attitude, and the whole thing reeks - in a similarly positive way - the Burzum black metal vibe, now though blown out to occupy top level aural real estate capacity. The tracks on this spin are abundant and playful musical constructs, and it is safe to say that less efficient declarations are not part of this fine inner sightseeing.

The primordial-, "Burzum-like" vibe of the release is your totally appropriate modal fix to get ripped to shreds by a pack of rabid wolves on the thin ice to entertain the withered moonlight, yet, Insomnium's One for Sorrow is clearly a record that commands you to feel reasonably good about being ripped to shreds. The LP introduces and tastefully maintains a sense of frosty, sorrowfully and frighteningly sexy fantasy narrative, - not buttbuddy nor acquaintance of cheesefestation fantasy power metal - and makes it work superbly by pulling out melodic hooks from behind every single mammoth tree you come across in this intriguing sonic forest. Guys, let's talk about the music.


One for Sorrow's most fine attribute to notice and be delighted about, is its capacity to be flamboyant and focused with heft, grit and tenderness, all at the same time. The LP has a whole lot going on along its perfect length of 53 minutes. While the general flow of things revolves around the timeless fun of well varied sonic rumbling, the complementary ingredient is a propensity to throw a cleverly placed wink to Nordic folk vibes, and let me tell you that these viking folk vibes are looking truly great when their qualities are addressed by frozen lich king guitars plugged into monolith-amplifiers.

Insomnium's latest is a highly likable piece of silence massacre, and you can't miss out and be serious about it on the dozens of fine little subtleties the tracks are packed fully with. FULLY, indeed. Most of the time, there are 3 or 4 aural layers present ONLY in the mid-range register, so you will have ample occasions to cultivate attention to the high frequency details the mere fabric of the record graces you as.

Sober accessibility coming in with tremendous heft and through myriad forms, is key factor of this release. The choruses are elegant, the death metal growling sucks your soul out through your eyes and spits it back through your ass, and the whole album has super-tight focus-, relevant melodic inventions and sober balance written all over it. All in all, Insomnium's One for Sorrow is a record with full blown potential to turn its listener to a werewolf with an agenda, and hell, what is more manly than that!?

Rating : 8.8 / 10

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Iced Earth - Dystopia review

Year : 2011
Genre : Power Metal
Label : Century Media
Origin : United States
Rating : 6.5 / 10

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Iced Earth's latest studio package is the solid equivalent of a portal device, because this right here is your all-time favorite mobile cheese storage that contains a hyper-abundant amount of rebellious platitude, embodied by the LP's quite consistently anti-exigent lyrical content. The anti-exigency - it is assuaging to write it down twice than not to at all - exhibited in the lyrical contribution on Iced Earth's Dystopia is so fantastically rampant when at its peak moments, that it becomes an unexpected and quite steep challenge to appreciate the actual music ridden by the weightless, naive textual status reports the album is a rather muscular galore of.

- "Prepare for Victory!, WE! are the Resistance!, Victory CALLS!"

- Yeah? Skip the track and tell her I'm busy.

This review will include percepts regarding the actual music on this spin, but a rant is needed to be delivered as result of the cheese-invasion that is affecting about 75% of the lyrics. The record is fixated on two primer lyrical behaviors. First and foremost, it sounds to be in a relentless urge to seek out - dare one say : "recruit" ? - an Enemy figure to proudly stand out against, an act that gives a space to thoroughly - and enthusiastically, so you have something to be properly dreaded of - address the highly paua-metallic spiritual stance needed to form such a declaration on. Mind you, I'm not trying to be the super-asshole here. (Yeah, you could say because I already am.) I like power metal when it takes its mission to form a soul-, to entertain a soul, seriously. But I can tell from a million miles away when locked in an atom-safe bunker when a record-, when a text that is supposed to entertain at the LEAST, takes its listener for a sedated sloth on permanent vacation. This usually happens when the lyrics have absofuckinglutely no dilemma/thought worth sharing to show, and I personally have the hunch that Iced Earth was in a similar position when the immense majority of these lyrics have been forced into reality. Though in my opinion Iced Earth's Dystopia fails legendarily in its attempt - if there was an attempt at all - to reveal lyrics worth imprinting in a spirit, one should not forget that there is music involved, too. Guys, let's talk about the music.


Nah, I lied, first let's indulge a bit more in the cheesefest, because, frankly, the genre looks so much better without it, and why not try to point out the shortcuts that are simply becoming an embarrassment to take? Remember, even from the gates of heaven, there is a road leading to hell. You know the heavy metal deal with Power Sweat : now is the time, we take it back, 'till the end we fight, they can't take our soul away. I'm not exaggerating, these particular fixations are revealed on the record not in a tad less more poetic or exigent fashion than I just gave you the account of. Actually, I just overshot. Things get convoluted, because the enemy is not named, but it might be the Illuminati!! Furthermore : !!!

The other notable pastime of this release is to prepare the Army needed for the Cause, giving the individual soulja' spiritual guidance by pointing out the most potent inner resources and all the stuff - oops? - related. If you think I'm pulling your leg, then here is another verbatim quote from the lyrics contained on this Iced Earth album :

"Transcend to a higher place, accepting reality, you are the key for the life that you seek"

Shit! THAT's it! Somehow I KNEW it! I just KNEW it! You just had to WORD this sublime significance as the antidote for my misery, man!!

Yeah, cynicism sucks ancient monkey tits and it is the bliss of the miserable, but sometimes you can't avoid it. This textual shallowness though remains terrible to witness when other bands put genuine effort and thought to deliver significant lyrics observing the same theme. Check out the song The Ladder from premiere doom metal squad Argus, and note the difference between genuine spiritual content and smoke in the mirror.

In other words, the immense majority of lyrical content on Iced Earth's Dystopia is a cosmic cheesefest and the painful kind of it too, - nothing wrong with mild dosage of it - and the moments here and there that the band spends with some other lyrical theme, are pretty terrible, too. Like a sad girl who "wants to smile and live", but the "tragedy still holds her." - but she - don't know if you catch the drift here - "WANTS to live, FREE from the life of DESPAIR".

OK, but - I don't even know her. (Aaaand I'm not sure I want to, either.)

All in all, a healthy 75-80% of the lyrics and the consorting thought field sounds to be coming from a recalled-from-the-market heavy metal lyrics generator, and they lack all kind of intellectual elegance, imaginative charm or playfulness. The remaining 25% is "just" cheesy, but still OK power metal, but this won't do anything with your mind, either. And : this is not good. Do you know the song Daemon Dance from cosmic level shredder Yngwie Malmsteen? Like - the singer sings some crazy-ass, huge number ending with :

.. "hundred and twenty six"

and then he sings :

"demons will do their dance, cannot escape, holding a crucifix.

It gives me the shivers just writing it down, because I have no idea what does it exactly mean, but it paints frightening pictures in my mind and THAT becomes the MEANING. The lyrics on this record do nothing other or more than register as shameful cheese in my soul. (But I'm glad if they register as something else and something more in yours.)

From a musical point of (re)view, Iced Earth's Dystopia weighs in as acceptable, deeply traditional power metal, - more on this later - plagued though by below average chorus structures that sound to have the communist marching song vibe unleashed on amphetamine without the sear promise of a fucking leash or a big ass taser cannon handy. The power metal chorus, as an autonomous cultural entity, IS prone to be sucked into the communist marching song vibe on its mere own, because the respective senses of beyond you-level "epicness" and "unchangeability" give out a cheap sense of unity right away to be instinctively perceived by the minds that are forced to experience them, simply because each mind finds itself in a super-similar position when relating to these concepts. Wow, look! Now existence could be comfy and humpty-dory for you, because now you are not the only one bathing in the mystery.

I personally tend to think that the communist marching song vibe that I claim power metal is prone to exhibit, is a host-digesting parasite on the body of this PLAYFUL genre, and its most efficient shortcut to commit ritual-level cheesefest-suicide on, too. When cheese does not take itself seriously, then it is totally OK. But Iced Earth is serious about it, on this record. I think even a stellar build can suffer legendarily when the communist marching song vibe is unleashed on it. A great example of this is the opening track on Symphony X's superb Iconoclast, in my opinion. WTF is this sequence with WE! ARE! STRONG! WE! WILL! STAND! AND! FIGHT! in such a tight build!? You try to be super-serious, and you end up a super-spongebob, only made of cheese. You say something silly like this when you have nothing to say, but you have a suspected anticipation/craving to satisfy. A power metal fan wants to fight and rebel, right? If she/he wants, this craving is a shame to assuage THIS cheaply.

Iced Earth's Dystopia is reeking of the communist marching song vibe during the choruses, and, as such, it is very easy to truly appreciate the absence of it whenever the verse or middle section of a track comes back or takes a turn to explore other directions. Do not expect all THAT much variation though. The riffs are pretty simplistic, - but efficient in their crude charm - the wall of sound structures solely rely on ringed, solo power chords without all that much if any cunning at all among their intents, and the compositions themselves most often are going for a kind of early-Metallica thrashy vibe, complimented by an Eye of the Tiger mood in the mid-tempo builds, only with more fuel and heft used up. Mind us, that these directions do not at all prevent the release to pack very efficient moments. In my opinion, all of these are coming your way when the band engages full power efficiency, and I think they had problem realizing the entertainment factor of mid-tempo sections. Like the start of the otherwise solid opening track. Uhm. Four chords are being played for you for 1 whole fucking minute. Dude. Play them 3 times, everyone will get what you are about, interrupt the fourth, and you have an intro. Now start the damn song. < - tip.

The mentioning of Metallica is not accidental. If the singer on Iced Earth's Dystopia would have three wishes, I bet 4 of those would be to sing exactly like Metallica's James Hetfield. Say what you want about Metallica, - I won't, and I imagine the collective dread and horror of the Metallica members because of it - but James Hetfield has a super-solid set of pipes and palpable emotion in his singing voice, and you would have to be an elite level troll to even to THINK to question that. Iced Earth's vocalist bitterly approximates/imitates the general timber and the great mannerisms - like the word ending alpha wolf quasi-growls - of Hetfield with about 60% convince power, and I have nothing more to add to this notion, because there isn't. A re-occurring secondary vocal methodology of the release is to deliver Rob Halfordish head voice singing here and there, but, something - like the Rabid Animal of Mr. Halford, maybe?? - is fucking MIA, so the experience pretty much is that you are listening to a man pretending he has no balls. And, to be frank, each and every line he sings on this release, sounds to me like he sings about JUST that. "I have NO balls, NO balls, I have NONE of those!" On a third complementary note, some narrative-, Anselmo-like-, badass, menacing background muttering is sometimes utilized, too, but this is marginal compared both to the respective frequencies of the Hetfield-clone singing and the Rob Halford, BUT!, without the balls-kind of signing obtainable herein.

The record has a healthy, youthful general tempo colored by some slower tracks here and there, arranged on the contribution's body in a well balanced fashion. The titular opening track, third song Boiling Point and sixth one, Dark City are highlight deliveries worth revisiting for their efficient and muscular power metal charm. (Dark City is a great example how an - in my opinion - weak chorus, that is supposed to TOPPLE the cake, spoils a solid verse section.) The hymn-wannabes of the record are definitely not cups with my tea in it.

Iced Earth's Dystopia ultimately weighs in as an acceptable, stone-traditional power metal album with almost exclusively non-exigent lyrics, but I already had my rant about that, and I have no intention to paint an extra crosshair on my ass beside the one the rabid Iced Earth fan probably already is perceiving on it. Apart from its weightless, cheese-infestation lyrics, Iced Earth's Dystopia still could have been a great instrumental contribution, only it isn't, and here is why : the songs, as solely instrumental declarations, start out decently enough, then they often lose power - hah! - in non-justifiably prolonged mid-, and end sections. Non-justifiable, because there isn't much happening, hello?? The ending portion of Dark City, for example : a tight start and solid verse structure, weaker chorus, and then an instrumental "jam" revolving around two power chords. This is about as exciting as having sex without a body under you. (Alive body, thank you very much.)

The special edition features two bonus tracks, among these, the song called Iron Will sounds to be one of the most strong declarations on the entire release, and no problem with the lyrics there, either : they are JUST sufficiently cheesy. Once again : acceptable power metal with very limited supply of great moments, and you have heard this music being done much more consistently than this effort is capable to register as a full spin.

Rating : 6.5 / 10

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