Enter Shikari - A Flash Flood of Colour review

Year : 2012
Genre : Whateverthefuckyouwantcore
Label : Ambush Reality, Hopeless
Origin : United Kingdom
Rating : 4.0 / 10

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Step 1. Imagine a music box filled with different albums representing each one of these genres : metalcore, post-punk, lightweight dubstep, drum and bass, trance, hell, even annoying-ass Elton John pop, inviting you to drop saliva to your favorite pink plusch hyppo you love to sleep with since you are 12. (In other words : since a year.)

Step 2. Hook yourself up with a portable mini nuke and a cup filled with the green goo of musical DNA enfusion, arm the mini nuke to 30 secs and put these things into the music box. Close the lid. Wait one minute. Put on your HAZMAT suit. Open the lid. Get the resultant hyper-hybrid of a disc. It will have Enter Shikari - A Flash Flood of Colour written on it, and your nervous system will be hijacked! Now, if you are 13 years old, it is your lucky moment to produce your catharsis-run for the honest bewilderment of all traditions, because, what you are holding in your hands is none other than your : oh, so favorite album of all remembrance. If you are past 13, then you still do NOT need to be a retrograde douché to steadily dismiss this record as

VAAAAAAAAASTLY

I mean :

VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTLY overrated.

This is what the cover art suggests, too, (- "V"-astly overrated - ) and it mimes a triangle only to please the highest levels of the Illuminati, I suppose. It would be supremely easy to be an utter douchebag with this release, because, frankly, as I just wrote, it sounds to me that it is the music of the rebellious acne-kit 13 years old, yet it has its share of acceptable-, even (relatively) enjoyable moments amidst the immense dosages of supremely superficial political rants administered in the copied tradition of the action figure-variant of Rage Against the Machine. Read on to find out more about this - in my opinion - overrated release.


"Spiritually", this record seems to attempt to emerge as an after-feel experiment of everything Clockwork Orange on an antitheses-register, as the band members seek to occupy the position of the Good Willed Villain, the Warm Hearted Brigand, the Good Outlaw, or whatnot. They are your popculture Robin Hoods, armed with a fraction of the talent of their role model inspirators. Unfortunately, they seem to lack the charisma of an American z-movie star who has just been denied the key role of a shampoo spot, - or maybe I fail to pick up on their charm - but, what the hell, these dudes still behave like they just pulled the galaxy out of their asses. It would be acceptable if they'd sport the collective charisma of primetime Rutger Hauer, but what I see, is angry (sex) dwarfs being pissed off at my garden. WOW! Promising sight, I must admit. Lemme bring my lé pink lingerie.

Lyrics? Oh yes, some claim that the lyrics are superb on this disc. Uhm. Naive little thoughts seeking to emerge to bombastic qualities, - doomed to Fail Legendarily, of course - like : - can't quote verbatim, thank God - "do not think that little groups can't change the world! They CAN! They DID before!" Oh dear oh dear.

The members of Enter Shikari are not quite ripe musicians yet, in my opinion, and they reign in the position of being free to conceal their deficits with pseudo-content generated by the state of the art production environment they rely on. You are, of course, free to suggest that I should chew on a flamethrower with your finger on the trigger for saying so. Currently, the Enter Shikari dudettes seem to me as enthusiastic fanboys and Kerrang! readers, indulging amidst their musical inspirations, accounting those with stock-talent levels in a professional production environment, being fixated on superficial, naive political rants about the ideological and economical state of the planet. Nothing beyond-, and nothing new when compared to what you have heard a 23423423 times before in this field.

Their flamboyancy is their biggest and greatest asset, and there are moments when they seem to go - only in character!! - Faith No More, and you know that I'm a Faith No More fangirl. I dare say that the lyrical behavior of this LP is more conscious POSE than thoughtful-, heartfelt CONTENT, and it shows no capacity I can pick up on that would offer anything above the platitudes of narrative political rants. Buuuuuuuuut. The music, for the most part, is not stellar on this release, okay?? It is, for the aforementioned most part, is above average at best, and seldom are the times it goes beyond that. You suck ancient Baphomet dick if you think it is great music all over. Same as with Meshuggah : if you don't like Meshuggah, you suck. Sorry. Deal with it.

I have little doubt that mainstream UK media will be absolutely baffled by the superflamboyant stylistic intensity brought on by these dudes, though. Mainstream UK media needs to bow down to-, and needs to worship its own products. Its own current Idols. Oh my God. What the world has come to since the brilliant-, still-kill evergreens of Rick Astley. I like Iron Maiden and Susan Boyle, too, so be quick when you kill me.

On Facebook, everyone is rockstar, therefore no one is. I feel every little group with an affection towards music, with a superb production team behind the squad, could bring the primer qualities of this release. Let me draw a parallel. The faultiness-, the tasteless pretentiousness of the dogma that everyone should be put on a TV screen that enjoys receiving cheap attention, becomes evident. Like : what the hell do you show those two idiots in the Britan's Got Talent TV show for? I show zero interest in witnessing their eventless faces and their anti-humorous, attention seeking behavior. I'm 100% sure I'm not the only one who feels this way about the matter, too, because I have asked others. I have nothing against them as human beings, of course. But don't attempt to serve them for me as elements of entertainment. They are NOT that, and they are not funny. Monty Python is funny. Mr. Bean is funny. Anything below THAT level, should be witnessed with sobriety and relentless, scientific rigor. In this day and age, the mildly talented is invited and free to invade the camera, and this is what they are doing to the inappropriate invitation of a pretentious production ethos. You are no longer free to say to somebody :  "Dude, you look like shit on screen. Only worse." This tendency is a terrible thing to witness. Why do you violate my awareness with those two?

Same thing : this is not great music, because it constantly seeks to pretend that it so much more than it actually is. This is music with promise in it, and its primer promise is its relentless urge to project myriad lights - ANY kind of light, for that matter - on itself. It is above average pop festival medley administered in the spirit of 238947237423423 different genres to serve out everyone out in a building like a cheap prostitute would do, only, this propensity can be regarded as degrading, because the elements served to you hardly are consistent in their quality.

Anyway, each song on this release is composed of about 25 segments seeking to serve out different genres like a prostitute that has been paid upfront, and none of these segments tend to last more than half a minute, tops. This album is a commercial product that is aimed to serve out the capricious appreciative "capacities" and harshly limited artistic horizons of the hormone-trodden 13 years old adolescent who thinks throwing up on a random face at a festival is a rebellious obligation that must be done once a month. As noted, the actual music is not all that sharp when witnessed for the respective ultimate worth of its myriad components, and the vocal style propagated on it makes me feel that the fronter needs a hug. Not necessarily by a bear, but. .. Just kidding. I'm looking forward for the next delivery of these dudettes, and word is, that their live shows are truly magnificent. Amen to that.

On a sentimental note : I realize that this is a harsh review, and I might write another one later on, to see if my initial views of this release have been changed. If you already have a radically different global percept of this LP than mine and you feel the urge to share it, then please feel free to educate me regarding my suspected deficits in the comment section below. Remember : I'm not against these guys, I simply think - currently - that they are vastly overrated. But I'm not 100% sure yet.

Rating : 4.0 / 10

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